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Odyssey 2 by CRAZYjai

Odyssey II by Sabbelbina

Odyssey II by reggar


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November 30, 2012
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"Go."

Somewhere, Lysanna clawed at the shards of mirror, using the last of her strength to send the message.  The words came to Tal'shen as needling pain, piercing her mind.  "Forget them," her mother said.  "Go now and do as I've created you to do!"

Tal'shen felt her mother die.  It did not matter.  There was no feeling of attachment; only the drive to carry out her purpose.  Growing still, her monstrous form filled the room.  She shot two massive tentacles upwards, rending a large hole in the ceiling.  Outside, she blinked in the fog.  London, that was the name of this city, wasn't it?  A good a place as any to begin.  

Inside, Maya coughed back the bits of dust and plaster.  "Paul," she breathed, wincing at the mass of flesh Tal'shen had left in her wake.  She went to him, gasping at his flayed carcass, nothing more than quivering bits of meat and bone.  She closed her eyes.  One chance.  It was an old spell, one that had never been tried on a human… but it might work.

"Fenne.  Nok.  T'vek.  Innest'vermuus kel Norctis," Maya spoke.  Colors of the spectrum danced around them, darting from her form to his.  "Bennect fom Maliscus.  Bennect fom Puul.  Bennect Toda!"

At first, nothing happened.  Maya felt a sense of deep regret though she didn't know why.  She could already hear screams and horns blaring from outside.  Their world was ending, yet here she was concerned about a single man.

Just then, Paul's form began to shift.  Sinew pulled itself to bone; blood pooled and seeped back into its rightful place.  By the end, he looked every bit as he had been, save for one small difference – Paul was levitating a full foot off of the floor.

Maya settled a palm on the handle of her blade.  "It's okay," Paul reassured her.  "It's me.  I'm… different…" he said, holding out his palms and looking at them.  Colors shone beneath the skin, barely visible.  "But she's gone."

Maya dropped her hand with a small sigh and looked upwards.  Rain had begun to drizzle in through the opening.
 
"I know where she's going," Paul said.  He sounded surprised at the admission himself.  He swallowed, looking Maya over.  He'd thought her pretty when they'd first met, but now – flushed, sweating and splattered in bits of goop from her impromptu "surgery" – strangely, he found her utterly radiant.

"Maya," he said.  "Listen to me - I know how to stop her."

Submission for the Odyssey II project, chapter seven. Things are getting pretty exciting now. I can't wait to see where it all goes. :D

So, I like Paul. I thought he should stick around until story's end at least. Right from the beginning I got a sense that he was a little on the milquetoast side, due to the fact that in chapter one he admonishes himself for not stepping up and being more of a help to the man on the train. He's been little more than an unwilling participant thus far, so I thought I'd set him up for a little redemption in the end. I'd really like to see Paul become something more than just an incubator, heh. :D

Update
Check out ~TravTheMad's killer art piece, chosen to accompany this chapter! [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconc-blaze21:
C-blaze21 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
This is quite the amazing story.
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I agree. Can't express how thrilled I am to have been a contributor. It is truly awesome to connect and create with such a talented collective. :D
Reply
:iconmooname:
mooname Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012   General Artist
I tried to represent your chapter, I hope you enjoy it:
[link]
although you :D
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think it's outstanding. I'll head over there and give you my thoughts. ;)

(Sorry for the late reply, I unplugged for a few days...)
Reply
:iconmooname:
mooname Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012   General Artist
thank you very much for your comments,
you are all apologize,
I also escuse response time,
although you :D
Reply
:icondanny-ded:
DANNY-DED Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I really like your chapter, and you have succeeded in your attempt to save Paul ahah, it's true that I imagined a tragic end in his case, now he will be a hero, thanks for that! ;)
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, my pleasure! Thanks! :D
Reply
:icontlrlscl:
tlrlscl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dudeeeeeee! This chapter is AWESOME! You totally just set the stage for an EPIC finale!
For a fantastic feat like that, you need a llama! :^D
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
mmmyessss... delicious llamas...

:D Thanks a bunch! :D
Reply
:iconisagiyo-yan:
Isagiyo-Yan Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Great chapter and congrats :) Just curious, what was your inspiration behind the spell language Maya was speaking?
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No idea. I just went for something that I thought would roll off the tongue pretty well. I wanted them to sound powerful, so I leaned more towards words with short syllables and hard consonants. :shrug:

Thanks though, I appreciate the kind words! :D
Reply
:iconmajopavlovic:
MajoPavlovic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
Congrats! I think that I'll try to illustrate this one. I have some visions and ideas rambling through my mind ...
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Cool, thanks! The artwork so far has been fantastic. This is going to be beautiful book once it's done. Good luck with it! :D
Reply
:iconmajopavlovic:
MajoPavlovic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
you're welcome! yes it's going to be interesting. thank you!
Reply
:iconhmd3:
HMD3 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Writer
awesome! give's us a lot to go on for the final chapter ;)
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, good luck! :D
Reply
:iconnigmasin:
NigmaSin Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats!
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconsayuri14:
Sayuri14 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
Congrats on being selected :)
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconbigdaddiehenry:
bigdaddiehenry Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
nice
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconhansnomad:
HansNomad Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Awesome. That was very Hellraiser, and very cool. Congratulations on being chosen--well deserved.
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am a big Hellraiser fan, what can I say. Thanks man. :D
Reply
:icondulex94:
dulex94 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Writer
This is really good, you really made writing final chapter hard... Where could she go? How can he stop her? I guess the place Tal'Shen is going to should be something cool that can set a plan about human destruction in motion. :P Well I know one place that is not to far from London (about 140 kilometers)...

Anyway, good chapter, it's going to be fun writing grand finale :D If only I had a chance to participate in others (real life problems)
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks and good luck! I'm really excited to see where it will go now. :D
Reply
:icondulex94:
dulex94 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
There is one thing I'd like to ask you :D How big is Tal'Shen? XD You described the tentacles destroying roof, so either tentacles are extremely large or she as an entity is huge :D But somehow from reading all these chapters I get a feeling like she is a human sized xD
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I made her grow after she left Paul's body (check out paragraph two). Magic! :D
Reply
:icondulex94:
dulex94 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Writer
I've seen it :D And you're welcome :D
Reply
:icondulex94:
dulex94 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
P.S. I just red it more carefully, it's obvious that you made her larger than ordinary human :P
Reply
:iconpuzzledpixel:
puzzledpixel Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
congratz! glad to see paul starting to look like a hero! and thanks for destroying that room! awesome!
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, my pleasure. I was sick of that room too. :D Thanks!
Reply
:iconzoefish:
zoefish Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Best chapter.
Reply
:iconnickkat1985:
Nickkat1985 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Agreed! Best chapter so far. It propelled the story to a fitting ending, while retaining the key points of previous chapters (Lysanna still grasping the shards of mirror was awesome). Demonsweat, the description of Maya in the end was indeed sensual! Can't imagine how someone covered in human bits and goo can be sensual, but...
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, thanks so much! :D
Reply
:iconzoefish:
zoefish Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
It's tough to write the second to last chapter but I think demonsweat did an awesome job of it.
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Appreciate it, thank you. :D
Reply
:iconmarinaboccuzzi:
MarinaBoccuzzi Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Congrads! Well Done!
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconbillblogins:
BillBlogins Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well done, great ideas!
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconprinceofpencils:
princeofpencils Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Congratulations on a well deserved win for Chapter 7 :)
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
:iconnotorius-benjamin:
Notorius-Benjamin Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on Chapter selection!
Reply
:icondemonsweat:
demonsweat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:
Reply
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